A Letter Home From Scout Camp Dear
Mom,
Our scout master told us all write
to our parents in case you saw the
flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents
and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us
got drowned because we were all up on the mountain
looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call
Chad's mother and tell her he is OK.
He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one
of the search & rescue jeeps It was neat. We never
would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for
the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going
on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did
tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably
didn't hear him.
Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can
will blow up?
The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of our tents did.
Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird
until his hair grows back. We will be home on Saturday if
Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault
about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left.
Scoutmaster Webb said that a car that old you have to
expect something to break down; that's probably why he
can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He
doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot,
sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty
hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding
in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and
talked to us.
Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good
driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But
he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there
isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging
trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks
and swimming out in the lake Scoutmaster Webb wouldn't
let me because I can't swim and Chad was afraid he would
sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe
across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of
the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster
Webb isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even
get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot
oftime working on the car so we are trying not to cause
him any trouble.
Guess what? We've all passed our first aid merit badges.
When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see
how a tourniquet works. Also Wade and I threw up.
Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning
from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way
with the food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out
and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out
how to get things done better while he was doing his time.
Have to go now, we are going into town to mail our
letters and buy bullets. Don't worry about anything. We
are fine.
Love, Camden
P.S. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot?
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Q: What should you give a man who
has everything?
A: A woman to show him how to work it...
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Halloween humor....
There's a man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets
invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what
costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes
to a fancy costume company to explain the problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear
Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted
handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your
wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate".
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just
emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of
complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note,
which says "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a monk's
habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with
your bald head, you will really look the part".
Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from
emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head
and he writes the company another nasty letter of
complaint.
The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which
reads "Dear Sir,please find enclosed a bottle of
molasses.Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick
your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple!"
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Maybe
its true, maybe its not. Most likely they are!!!!
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill
her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare
hands.(the husband's lover, on the other hand, may be
killed in any manner desired.)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but
only in
tropical fish stores. (of course!!)
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IDIOT SIGHTINGS
Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in
your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If
it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He
smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually
challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to
blind people when the light is red. She responded,
appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A lecturer teaching medicine was
tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of
yellow-colored liquid.
"This", he explained, "is urine. To be a
doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight,
and taste."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and
put it into his mouth.
His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But
being the good students that they were, the jar was
passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the
jar and then put it into their mouth. After the last
student was done, the lecturer shook his head.
"If any of you had been observant, you would have
noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd
finger into my mouth."
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Offerings had been down the past several Sundays and the
preacher decided he had to do something to change the
trend. The next Sunday, as the plate was being passed he
said...
"Brothers and Sisters, I don't like to have to do
this, but there is a man in the congregation who is
having an affair with another parishioner's wife, and if
there is not at least five dollars in the collection, I
will reveal his name.
Later, as he counted the money he found 2O five dollar
bills, and a two dollar bill with a note that read "Forever
hold your peace, I'll have that other three dollars
before sundown."
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